| Title: Helpful Hints Author: Jo Pairing: Karl Urban/Billy Boyd; Bernard Hill Rating: PG Summary: Karl has a small problem. Disclaimer: Absolute, complete, 100% fiction Notes: for dellastar's birthday -- so sorry it's late, babe!
"What?" "Party. You're looking like you just lost your best friend." "Nah, just thinking." "About anything in particular?" "...yeah." "Want to talk about it?" "I suppose." "Well, then...scoot over, and pass me another beer." "Bossy old man, aren't you?" "Just for you, mate. Now scoot. And talk." "Dunno where to start." "Try the beginning. I've found that's usually the best place. Leads right to the middle and then quite nicely to the end." "Ha. You're a real comedian." "So I've been told. Now are you going to talk, or do we just sit out here all night and let the party continue without us?" "Well...." "Wait. Let me guess. Woman trouble?" "Not exactly." "Not exactly...right. Hunter, then?" "Nono, he's good. Growing like a weed." "Not a woman, not Hunter...am I even on the right track?" "Sort of." "Sort of, he says. You're so helpful." "I know." "Cheeky brat." "Coming from you, I'll take that as a compliment." "You would. Alright, so...relationship woes?" "I guess you could say that." "I could, huh?" "Sort of." "Could you make this more difficult?" "I could try." "Don't." "But --" "Hush." "Yessir." "I didn't mean literally." "But you said --" "Just forget what I said and tell me what the bloody problem is already." "Billy." "Oh...oh. I see." "You do." "I think so." "Oh." "But maybe not. I didn't know you and Billy were --" "We're not." "Ah. So...?" "So, that's the problem." "I see." "You said that already." "It still applies." "Oh." "So you're moping because you and Billy, aren't, but...you want to." "I'm not moping. I'm thinking." "Call it what you like, son. Am I right?" "Well...yes." "Uh huh. And what's Billy think of all this?" "I don't know." "You don't.... Karl, have you talked to Billy about this?" "No." "Mentioned it to him?" "No." "Hinted at it?" "No." "I see." "You said --" "I know, I already said that." "Right." "And it still applies. But that's your problem." "It is?" "Of course. Just talk to him, for crying out loud." "I can't." "What? Of course you can." "No, I can't." "You have a mouth, don't you?" "He's with Dom." "Oh, pish. He is not." "I saw them --" "Did you see them, or...did you see what you wanted to see?" "Come again?" "You, Karl Urban, are a coward." "I am not!" "You are. If you weren't, you'd talk to him." "No, I really can't." "Why not?" "I...I just can't." "Karl --" "No, really." "You're shy!" "Nono, I just --" "You are!" "Oh, for...I am. But I'm not." "I see." "You keep saying that." "I know. Why do you think everyone always talks about age and wisdom?" "Oh, for --" "Seriously, Karl, just talk to the man." "Bernard, I told --" "Billy! Could you come over here?" "What are you doing?!" "Calling him over." "Why??" "So you can talk to him." "Bernard!" "Smile and act normal. Here he is." "I'm going to kill you." "Stop muttering. Here, Bill, have a sit. Karl needs to talk to you." "Oh?" "The dear boy's interested in you." "He is?" "Mmm...quite. Now sit and talk to him. He seems a bit shy." "Karl?" "Oh...god...."
|