Title: Snap
Author: Jo
Pairing: Karl Urban/Viggo Mortensen
Rating: PG
Summary: Crack!fic at its finest...or "The Missionary Position Explored"
Disclaimer: This might have actually happened. But not, I'm sure, the way I pictured it in my head.
Author's Notes: This one's for the ever lovely CocoaJava, for feeding this very demented bunny when it was born. Oh, and...I won't be held responsible for ruined keyboards and monitors if you should choose to drink while reading this.
Author's Notes 2: My sincere apologies. The mental images this aroused were just too hard to resist. *g*


"Hey, Vigs, c'mere and look at this."

"What?"

"This."

"What are you reading?!"

"Something I picked up at Harry's."

"Why am I not surprised? You know...I don't think that's possible."

"Sure it is. The picture's right there, mate."

"Karl, I'm a photographer. I know how easy it is to doctor photos. That's not possible. You'd break something."

"No, you wouldn't."

"Yes, you would. Trust me."

"Hey, Vigs?"

"What? And don't call me that."

"Want to find out?"

"What?!"

"C'mon, mate. It'll be fun!"

"Karl, somehow, I get the idea that my idea of fun and yours are two vastly different things."

"Oh, come on, Viggo! Where's your sense of adventure?"

"It's at the bottom of the ravine I let you and Orli talk me into bungee jumping over."

"Don't be such an old man, Vigs."

"Karl..."

"Please?"

"Karl..."

"Pretty please?"

"Oh, for...I'm probably going to regret this..."

+ + +

"No, wait, put your legs here."

"Here?"

"Yeah, like that. Okay, now hold them there"

"Um, Karl, I don't..."

"No! Don't put them down...just...yeah, okay. That might work."

"Wait, I've got a cramp!"

"Vigs, don't..."

"Ungh..."

"Ow..."

"Sorry, sorry, maybe this..."

"You think..."

"Yeah, I do. Try it now."

"Okay, here goes..."

"Ouch. Okay, maybe that's not such a good idea, either."

"No, no, no, don't do...ow."

"Sorry."

"Damn it, Vig, you have to hold them up or this won't work!"

"Well, why don't you hold them up for me?"

"Think that would work?"

"Don't know 'til we try."

"True. Alright, then."

"Karl, wait. I'm not...."

"Ohhhh...yeah, this works...."

"Mmhmm...yeah...."

"Stop, don't move...fuck."

"Damn...sorry."

"You know, Vigs...I don't think this is possible."

"I told you that to begin with."

"Maybe we should try something else."

"Good idea."


~fin~